Beelzebub (pictured above) makes for a great alarm clock snooze button. Unlike conventional mechanical snooze buttons, Beelzebub stalks his prey and positions himself for maximum effect and to ensure proper waking.
Yes kids, that CREATURE (Scutigera coleoptrata) you see above is what was on my left eye this glorious Easter morning. I was a bit overtired from a night of reverie with old friends celebrating Scott reporting for duty in the United States Air Force — Lt. Scott, I'm very proud of you buddy — so I wasn't entirely aware of my surroundings. Beelzebub sat on my eye, waiting for me to hit the snooze button just one more time (Alarm Clock Pro for Mac is what i use - amazing!). Instead of my normal routine where I bargain with Satan for just a few more minutes of shut eye, I could feel the creature sitting on my eyelid. Somehow I managed to calmly brush it off. Not wearing my glasses, I couldn't see anything except for the large hind leg Beelzebub surrendered to my eye socket.
SIDEBAR: I promise to make this telling of my really-long-telling of a relatively-short-story actually short. When I was 14 I had a bug about the size of a cricket crawl up into my ear canal. It burrowed deep, fiercely bit me, and made a horrible sound that was amplified by its proximity to my ear drum. As a result of this incident I have partial hearing in my left ear almost 15 years later. This why I constantly ask "what?" Maybe I should get a little hearing aid.
Beelzebub resurfaced this evening when Kalli was doing her ablutions. Thankfully Chris was near to kill it! Now it's very late and I can't sleep because I can't seem to get images of this creature out of the front of my mind.
I think I'll watch some Jack Bauer online. Jack Bauer isn't afraid of centipedes.