This Thanksgiving it would be easy for me to find reasons to be unappreciative. 2008 has proved as difficult and emotionally heart wrenching as the previous three years, but I am reminded of the gift of family. Tragedy seems to strike just before significantly happy or celebratory events, ruining the idea of happiness. Although it is hard, I try my best to keep happy.

My family has seen death every six months for too many years, sometimes in twos and threes. On the bright side of life, we are presented with another opportunity to commune, share memories and eat to our heart's content. I look at my young cousin and I feel her sadness for the loss of her mom and her apprehension at moving halfway across the globe to live with her father. However, the tender moments we share as a family will carry her in good stead as she grows to be the beautiful woman her mom envisioned.

This is the second Thanksgiving without my father, and it is especially hard since my brother can't join us in our family celebration. My other aunts, uncles and cousins are spread across the country, but separated in distance only. Friends, the extended family with whom we choose to share our lives, are equally spread out, but all are united across these distances by love.

Today I am thankful for my family, my friends, the birds, the trees, the rocks and the seas. Every new day the vacuum left by those who departed this world too early grows smaller. I am thankful that we are all blessed to have shared our lives with such extraordinary people. On Thanksgiving, we reunite with the grateful selves we tend to forget the remaining days of the year.

I am thankful for our brave soldiers, diplomats and others who serve the cause of our country in more harmful territories. I am especially thankful for my health and that I saved room for tonight's non-traditional feast of ribeyes and New York strips.

Unlike in years previous, I was unable to participate in this year's Help the Homeless Walkathon, but I encourage everyone to support my beneficiary organization, the Central Union Mission. The work performed by these caring volunteers brings stability and hope to so many. I long for the day where no one who wants food goes hungry and no one who seeks shelter is turned away. If you have spare clothes, jackets or change, please give what you can. If you have nothing to donate, consider donating your time. Homelessness affects over 300,00 Americans, many of whom are chronically homeless; and that number is growing at rates not seen since the Great Depression.

I am thankful that today there is love and forgiveness left in the world to help us greet tomorrow, regardless of the tragedy or blessing we may receive.

As the brilliant crew of Monty Python remind us:

"Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life."

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Labels: Charity, Family, Help the Homeless, Holidays, Justin Schuck, Thanksgiving

I want to start by saying that I have had great difficulty in finding a happy memory to share with you about my aunt Tanya... There are just too many.

My "aunt Nana," as I used to call her, she and I would frequently talk for hours on the phone. Our longest conversation was about 6 hours. I remember because I had a nightcap at the start of the conversation and my morning Starbucks just before we hung up the phone. Anyhow, Tanya and I would talk about politics, life, religion, traffic, celestial bodies, home decorating, paint colors we liked, time-saving household cleaning products (I introduced her to Fantastic Oxy Power thank you very much), facial creams, who I was dating or not dating, how the girls were doing, her fears about death, her fears about bringing more pain to a family that has been through so much, and countless stories of grandma hiding fruit in her underwear drawer. But over the last several months I noticed a sea change in her thinking. She was more at peace with herself and God than anyone I have known. She was filled with the love, serenity and richness of family.

Tanya and I loved to share great quotes from literature and history. We found a quote from the traveler Ferdinand Magellan that gave me strength when my father was sick and nearing the end of his life. She said this quote defined me, but I felt it defined her more. The quote reads:

"The sea is dangerous and its storms terrible, but these obstacles have never been sufficient reason to remain ashore. Unlike the mediocre, intrepid spirits seek victory over those things that seem impossible. It is with an iron will that they embark on the most daring of all endeavors--to meet the shadowy future without fear and conquer the unknown."

Tanya always encouraged imagination with a fierce understanding that life is great and fun and should be lived to the fullest. I remember visiting her house in Fort Washington. The hour-long drive from our house gave me ample time to slip into my imagination. My mom would navigate the stormy seas of the beltway to safely arrive at the pirate's dock: Tanya's house. I would run and play on, over and through everything. I loved spending time with my Uncle Ken, the head pirate, my Aunt Tanya (the maiden who really ran the show), my brother Matt, our cousin Cara, and all the crazy dogs and animals that hung around. We'd scavenge the house and the yard for pirate's booty. We'd hang on the hammock on the dock, which in reality was a VW bus that never moved from the driveway. After a long hard day of pirating and adventuring, we'd come back to the pub's kitchen for a feast prepared by our favorite swashbuckling maiden. At night, the maiden would tuck us in bed, zippered tightly in our hot, flannel one-zees, and kiss us goodnight so that we could slip into our happy dreams.

These memories might not be based in reality, but they were the most fun memories I have as a child. My Aunt Nana gave us dreams in the daytime and always made sure that there were smiles in abundance. Smiles are easy to find when you are surrounded by so much love.

She taught us to forget fear and to love, always. She was truly an intrepid spirit.

Labels: Family

As many of you know, my family has had a tough few years recently, and today it is with a mixture of grief and peace that I tell you we have lost my dear aunt Tanya in her short battle with an aggressive cervical . My aunt "Nana" has been a pillar of strength for me and the rest of the family and the loss is felt most deeply by the three daughters, Cara, Catherine and Beth, and two sisters Vickie (my mom) and Tami who she leaves behind.

I am working on a fitting eulogy for my dear aunt and I will post it here after the funeral on Saturday, November 8, 2008 in Birmingham, Alabama.

This is the 3rd death in my family in 18 months. She is joined in heaven by my father and her mother. Truth be told, Don and E.T. have been waiting for someone to drive the golf cart and fill the cocktails so they can finish their game of golf. Who knows, maybe Tanya will learn the game my dad and grandma loved so much.

I ask that my friends keep my family in their thoughts, prayers and hopes.

On a happier note, I am happy to report that one of her dying wishes came true: change has come with the election of Sen. Barack H. Obama as the 44th president of the United States. Election day was filled with tears and smiles, but more of the latter. As my friend Esther told me, she's just another angel up there to support and guide our new president. And there would be no better angel than Tanya.

I will always love you and miss you Aunt Nana, and I will always remember our special relationship.

I will not be answering my cell phone for work-related calls. I will only have intermittent access to email for the next couple of weeks while I help my family through this transition. I apologize if I do not return messages of sympathy, I just have to remain singularly focused.

Labels: Family