I want to start by saying that I have had great difficulty in finding a happy memory to share with you about my aunt Tanya... There are just too many.

My "aunt Nana," as I used to call her, she and I would frequently talk for hours on the phone. Our longest conversation was about 6 hours. I remember because I had a nightcap at the start of the conversation and my morning Starbucks just before we hung up the phone. Anyhow, Tanya and I would talk about politics, life, religion, traffic, celestial bodies, home decorating, paint colors we liked, time-saving household cleaning products (I introduced her to Fantastic Oxy Power thank you very much), facial creams, who I was dating or not dating, how the girls were doing, her fears about death, her fears about bringing more pain to a family that has been through so much, and countless stories of grandma hiding fruit in her underwear drawer. But over the last several months I noticed a sea change in her thinking. She was more at peace with herself and God than anyone I have known. She was filled with the love, serenity and richness of family.

Tanya and I loved to share great quotes from literature and history. We found a quote from the traveler Ferdinand Magellan that gave me strength when my father was sick and nearing the end of his life. She said this quote defined me, but I felt it defined her more. The quote reads:

"The sea is dangerous and its storms terrible, but these obstacles have never been sufficient reason to remain ashore. Unlike the mediocre, intrepid spirits seek victory over those things that seem impossible. It is with an iron will that they embark on the most daring of all endeavors--to meet the shadowy future without fear and conquer the unknown."

Tanya always encouraged imagination with a fierce understanding that life is great and fun and should be lived to the fullest. I remember visiting her house in Fort Washington. The hour-long drive from our house gave me ample time to slip into my imagination. My mom would navigate the stormy seas of the beltway to safely arrive at the pirate's dock: Tanya's house. I would run and play on, over and through everything. I loved spending time with my Uncle Ken, the head pirate, my Aunt Tanya (the maiden who really ran the show), my brother Matt, our cousin Cara, and all the crazy dogs and animals that hung around. We'd scavenge the house and the yard for pirate's booty. We'd hang on the hammock on the dock, which in reality was a VW bus that never moved from the driveway. After a long hard day of pirating and adventuring, we'd come back to the pub's kitchen for a feast prepared by our favorite swashbuckling maiden. At night, the maiden would tuck us in bed, zippered tightly in our hot, flannel one-zees, and kiss us goodnight so that we could slip into our happy dreams.

These memories might not be based in reality, but they were the most fun memories I have as a child. My Aunt Nana gave us dreams in the daytime and always made sure that there were smiles in abundance. Smiles are easy to find when you are surrounded by so much love.

She taught us to forget fear and to love, always. She was truly an intrepid spirit.

Labels: Family